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Winter Turns into Spring - The Blog
Who is Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse?
In the pretence of only wanting to protect children, fingers are being points at Transwomen, at Drag Queens, any LGBT members and, at Foreigners/ Immigrants. While fingers and anger are misdirected, while politicians uses children's traumatic experiences for their political agenda, more children are being raped and abuse, mostly at home. While real perpetrators are free to pounce on their young preys, innocent people are being used and abused. This needs to stop.
Back in February 2023, in my neighbourhood, a far-right group - Turning Point - gathered in front of pub, protesting against a Drag Queen Story hour, claiming out loud, they were there to stop the sexualising of children. Similar events are happening, pointing fingers at the LGBTQA+ community. Fortunately, Turning point was outnumbered by local residents in support of the Drag Queen Story Hour. Unfortunately, all over the world, such protests are getting momentum.
On the 5th of April 2023, Suella Braverman, singled out men from Pakistani background as main perpetrators of white girls. She also defends her anti-immigrant law, implying men refugee are also perpetrators. Sir Peter Wanless, NSPSS CEO, issued a warning, saying it was “vital” to remember “that any child can be a victim of child sexual exploitation and adult perpetrators do not just come from one background.” He added: “Sexual predators will target the most vulnerable and accessible children in society and there must be a focus on more than just race so we do not create new blind spots that prevent victims from being identified.”
Soon after the Home Secretary's comments, the Labour Party posted this ad:
Rishi Sunak, later, claimed politicians should offer "less talk, more action". Suddenly Child Sexual Abuse, Child Exploitation are used as political tools to win people's favour, with the upcoming elections.
While groups of people attack, point the finger at others, while politicians argue, millions of children are being raped and the real perpetrators are getting away with it all, as they usually do. When we look back at Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, Gary Glitter and, lets not forget, Jeffrey Epstein, with his closest friend Ghislaine Maxwell, and Harvey Weinstein, the list goes on and on. Every single one of these individuals got away with using and abusing children for decades. They were "hiding in plain sight", meaning, so many people knew, "heard rumours of inappropriate behaviour" but, decided to not hear victims. There are always victims who speak up and they are always shut down.
The following clearly demonstrates this fact:" Sylvia Edwards, a 59-year-old carer and mother-of-two, was just 19 when 20 million people watched Jimmy Savile molest her on national television.
The assault happened during the filming of Top Of The Pops and footage captures Sylvia's discomfort as the presenter made lewd comments while groping her.
Sylvia has blasted the idea that bosses at the BBC had no idea about Savile's antics and told GMB of how her complaints about the incident were brushed off. (In fact, she was told by a camera man: "That's just Jimmy, go away.")
The assault at BBC TV Centre in West London on November 25, 1976, left Sylvia with mental scars - was the first video evidence of Savilles' sex abuse."
Jeffrey Epstein had an army of rich and famous friends, all around the word, from Les Wexner, to Donald Trump (who, as I write this, has just been found guilty of sexually abusing E Jean Carroll) He is s till denying it and still wants to run for presidency), Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton... Again, the list goes on and on. Harvey Weinstein was one of his pals too. You have R. Kelly and Michael Jackson. All these rich men were surrounded by enablers who kept quiet because these individuals brought them money, connection and young preys. Mostly, these perpetrators were/ are white, rich men, from the same circles.
Since the arrest of former MET Police Officers, David Carrick and the likes of him, more officers have been arrested but, there is little sense of relief as it clearly showed how many Police staff have been getting away with indecent exposure, rape and physical assault, for decades, and retained their position after a small "Slap on the wrist" and there are still many unchallenged, I have no doubts!
Accusing any minorities of being rapists is an old trick that has been used to discriminate against them. It creates suspicion and division. It take the light away from the real perpetrators who are still enjoying their lives while destroying others'.
Most important of all:
it is disgusting to use children traumatic experiences to put some point across! It is disrespectful. It leaves victims - children - in the dark of despair. There is no one to protect them and to fight with them. Organisations who support children and their family are under-funded. The people in position to do anything about sexual abuse and exploitation, in terms of law and legislations, are too busy arguing to get to the top. Dare I write: they are too busy covering their immoral behaviour or their friends'.
So, who is protecting children?
Take gentle care of yourselves.
Sylvie
What is it Life Coaching? What isn't Life Coaching?
It is a
partnership between a Life Coach and a client.
The coach facilitates a safe space and creates a positive rapport in order for the client to identify the inner blocks to their goals, hindering their happiness. Life Coaching helps the client to identify their own goals, to find their own solutions and achieve personal growth and transformation.
Life Coaching isn’t therapy. Although we acknowledge most inner blocks have their roots in the client’s past, we don’t dwell deep on it (this is best done in a therapeutic setting), but, with the client’s permission, we can explore how the "Then and There" affects the "Here and Now", and how the client can move forward, with Self-Compassion.
If I feel a client could benefit from ongoing therapy, I will advise they do so.
My approach is trauma informed. What is trauma? What does "Trauma Informed" means and how does it fit in with Life Coaching?
Trauma is the impact any significant event that has a lasting adverse effect on an individual’s happiness and well-being. The earlier and the longer lasting the stressful event in an individual’s life, the deeper the debilitating effect on a person’s happiness and well-being are.
“Trauma-informed coaching happens when the coach understands what trauma is, how it presents in the coaching room and how to respond. All this, within established coaching boundaries and contracts.”
Julia Vaughan Smith –
Coaching and Trauma
I have personal and professional experience of trauma and have a real understanding of its impact on mind, body and spirit.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is extending compassion to oneself in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
Dr Kristin Neff,
PhD, has pioneered and defines self-compassion as being composed of three main components –
mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.
Self-compassion is facing our deepest fears, outdated self-beliefs and our perceived inadequacies with loving kindness towards oneself, by learning to take the time to acknowledge when we are hurting (Mindfulness) , by reminding ourselves how suffering is part of the our human experience and we all experience it (to some degree), we aren’t as alone as we think we are (common Humanity ) and, finally, by taking time to sooth and to love ourselves though our pain as we would with a dear friend of ours (Self-Kindness).
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How does Self-Compassion and Trauma Informed Coaching work?
Oftentimes, our deepest fears, outdated self-beliefs and perceived inadequacies, are the very things blocking us from creating a happy, fulfilled life, and building happy relationships, tailored to our needs and aspirations.
These blocks have roots in our past, whether we are aware of this or not, and will impact our thoughts, feeling and our behaviour as well as on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. The more severe a past trauma, such as Child Sexual Abuse, the stronger the blocks, which are survival/ defence mechanisms created in childhood in order to survive extreme violence and neglect.
They are also natural responses to abuse and neglect,
when the child really has no one to turn to.
In Coaching, there is an opportunity for the client to explore how the past has an impact on the present and focus on what the client can achieve NOW by becoming their own best friend through anything life throws at them and by having compassion for what they have been through. I will provide the space, the support and some tools (such as reading materials, meditations practice etc...), when necessary, to support clients on their journey.
The coaching process will be led by the client. It will be tailored to the client’s needs, with the client’s approval.
The coaching will be most effective if the client is willing and ready to commit
100% to their journey of self-discovery and healing. During Trauma Informed and Self- Compassion based Life Coaching sessions, the client will learn to approach their biggest blocks and find their inner resources of loving kindness and compassion towards themselves.
Contact Me
Notice Board
Zoom or Teams
For those who would prefer to have their Life Coaching sessions, remotely, I use Zoom and Microsoft Team.
Venues for face-to-face sessions
TBC
Life Coaching sessions available from January 2023
My Fees
- 30 Minutes Skype/ Zoom or phone
assessment:
FREE
-
Full price
-
£80. (8 to 10 sessions
in total.)
-Concession prices: £60 (8 to 10 sessions in total.)
If you are experiencing financial hardship, such as unemployment or long-term disability, I offer limited places on concession fees. Please, contact me to discuss.
All payments via bank transfer.
