Winter Turns into Spring - The Blog
The Mental Health Awareness Week' s theme was "Move for your mental health." Social media platforms were drowning in posts and reels from the all main mental health charities and fitness gurus/ influencers, sharing the benefits of physical exercises on our mental health. This theme didn't take into account the many complexities of mental illnesses/ distress.
We, human beings, are the only species on the planet who don't meet our children's emotional needs and don't understand the importance of attachment. Most of the time, parents - especially, mothers- aren't to blame: society teaches us to separate from our babies as soon as they are out of the womb. We are warned not to let our infants getting to attached to us, when, in truth, attachment is vital for their growth and well-being;. Without a secure and loving attachment, to their primary carer, kids will experienced great difficulties as adults and some might not even survive.
#SAAM - the Sexual Assault Awareness campaign is this month. I wish I could write such things as: "If you have experienced sexual assault or rape, please go to the Police, talk to someone, anyone who could help you though this." Sadly, I can't because the reality is the experiences of victims and survivors of SA are still being dismissed, minimised, if not used as opportunities to further hurt those who are seeking help.
Mental health services in the UK have always been hard to access. In the last past 5 years, they can no longer meet the needs of the increasing numbers of suffering individuals. The recuring question is "Why are more and more people diagnosed with depression/ADHD/ BPD? ETC" So, what is happening?
There is this idea that survivors of CSA, who suffer with mental illnesses as a result, look a certain way. Has your mental health ever been questioned because you look to good to be ill?
Recently, a dear friend of mine shared with me her frustration after being told, yet again, by a “work coach”, how well she looks… for a woman who suffers with mental illnesses. It is something she hears on a regular basis, from strangers, from her GP, the Job Centre + staff and, which is most worrying, from the local CMHT's psychologists.
Her recent experience reminded me of my own. 5 years ago, when I decided to leave my latest job because my depression took a turn for the worse. I was cutting myself. I was no longer able to leave my trouble at home and put a professional mask on. I too was told: “You don’t look depressed.” by a Job Centre Plus work coach. I didn’t say a word to this man but I looked at him in such a way he knew he was in trouble. He then felt the need to correct himself: “Well, it is called an invisible illness.” On my last Work Capability Assessment report (for PIP), it was written I didn't look anxious. I was encouraged to look at my worst in order for the health assessor to take my mental illnesses serioulsy. Why do I need to portray myself one way or another for my mental illenesses to be taken seriously and for me receive the financial help I need?
How does being told we look too good to be depressed make us feel? Angry. Angry as it shows the ignorance and the judgement that some people have towards us (and others). We also feel misunderstood, belittled, lonely and sad.
Sylvie
What are your thoughts? Have you ever been told you look too good to be depressed? Or that you don’t look ill? How did it make you feel? Feel free to share your own stories on the comment box below.
