Winter Turns into Spring - The Blog

In the summer of 2021, Bill Crosby was released of prison, not because he isn't guilty but because "in 2005, Bruce L. Castor Jr., who was then the district attorney in Montgomery County, Pa., outside Philadelphia, issued a news release saying that he had declined to charge Mr. Cosby over the matter."  New York Time Charlie Savage/ Published July 1, 2021/Updated Oct. 14, 2021

Earlier this year, Prince Andrew settled the US civil sex assault case with Virginia Giuffre. After months of denying her accusations. He even offered to donate money to Ms Guiffre's charity for victims of rape.

As we can see in the recent documentary: "Savile: a British Horror Story" on Netflix, Jimmy Savile' s victims weren't properly heard until he died. The two journalists and the very few individuals who wrote about the behaviour were dismissed.

Epstein died in prison after years of raping teenagers with the help of his loyal (and royal!) friends, Ghislaine Maxell and all their rich pals.

Oh, and let's not forget R.Kelly and Michael Jackson... The list goes on and on and on.

They were all rich, famous, protected by the industries they served well and used to cover their despicable deeds. There all surrounded by people who knew, or suspected but chose not to speak up, because too much money was at stake, so were reputations.

 Others really didn't know: "I've known this person for years! We were friends. I trusted him/her. He/she was doing so much good!", because, most importantly, these monsters were all expert in grooming. What we tend to forget is that the grooming process doesn't just involve the victims. These individuals are masters in disguise. They lie, they cheat, they manipulate. They know exactly what to say, when to say it and whom to say it to. They are great charmers. Some of us might think: "I will never let myself being brainwashed by such a person!" You wouldn't know until it would be too late: it could be your best friend, your partner, or the generous uncle or the trusted Priest. They are not just "celebrities", they are everywhere. They look handsome, are hard working and very generous with their time and money.

The heart breaking thing about all these stories is how people responds to  accusations, especially when the "alleged" accident happened years ago. "If it is true: why didn't we hear about this when it happened?" or "They are after the money and fame" or "She was always a trouble maker!"

Here are a few reasons why victims don't speak up "sooner":

• They are being told not to tell. The abuser threatens the victim or the family of the victims.
• They feel ashamed - even more so if their body responded to touch.
• They have no one to turn to.
• They forget about the abuse. The experience is so traumatic, some leave their body.
• They were too young to understand what was happening.
• They don't trust the Police or other professionals and are afraid they won't be believed.
• The justice systems favours adults and perpetrators.

There are many more reasons why rape isn't disclosed.

Sometimes, victims speak up but, unfortunately:

• They aren't believed. "No. this person would never do that!"
• They are told: "Keep it to yourself. No one needs to hear about our family problems."
• They are advised to leave it all in the past and to forgive (forget)
• The Police doesn't take the victim seriously - oftentimes because of lack of evidences.
• As above, the justice system favours perpetrators: for example, many sexually abusive parents were given custody by judges because of "parental rights". The "False Memory Syndrome" is a popular weapon to  discrediting the victims' recollection of the abuse.

As a society, we need to do better. We need to change our ways of thinking about sex, power, money and children. Too many souls are suffering, alone, with no one to turn to. Yes, we need awareness. We need to talk about it too but, most importantly, we need to take act, by creating safe and compassionate spaces for these victims. We need to listen to those who are going through hell. We need to focus on the trauma itself instead of only focussing about the effects such as: depression, CPTSD, BPD and addictions. We need better laws and regulations.

Sylvie

For more information:

Rape Crisis reports: "Only 1 in 100 reported rape to the Police result with a charge." Read the full  report here.

NSPCC published a study of discloser of childhood abuse: "No one noticed, No one heard"

Mosac "supports the non-abusing parents and carers of children who have been sexually abused. Our goal is to provide the non-abusing members of families with the help that they need to move on positively with their lives."