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Winter Turns into Spring - The Blog
It is the Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence awareness week. Here are some of the latest statistics in the UK and few resources for those who need help.
The figures don't reflect the true scale of what is really happening behind closed doors. So many victims and survivors of Child Sexual Abuse are suffering in silence and when they open up, they are still not listened to. Indeed, it's not Ok.
The latest statistics on the prevalence of child sexual abuse in England and Wales, from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) bring together a range of different data sources from across government and the voluntary sector:
- The Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimates that 7.5% of adults aged 18 to 74 years experienced sexual abuse before the age of 16 years (3.1 million people); this includes both adult and child perpetrators.
- The abuse was most likely to have been perpetrated by a friend or acquaintance (37%); around a third (30%) were sexually abused by a stranger.
- The majority of victims did not tell anyone about their sexual abuse at the time, with 'embarrassment' being the most common reason.
- In the year ending March 2019, the police in England and Wales recorded 73,260 sexual offences where there are data to identify the victim was a child.
- At 31 March 2019, 2,230 children in England were the subject of a child protection plan (CPP) and 120 children in Wales were on the child protection register (CPR) for experience or risk of sexual abuse.
It’s Not Ok
- 1 in 20 children in the UK have been sexually abused. Over 90% of sexually abused children have been abused by someone they know, mostly someone who live in the same household.
- The NSPCC recorded a 57% rise of cases of Child Sexual Abuse at home and demand changes to support children. “Childline counselling sessions about sexual abuse in the family triple during lockdown” Child sexual offences jump 57% in 5 years | NSPCC
The recent lockdowns aren't the cause of the rise but they definitely highlighted the hidden horror some children have lived with for so long.
The organisation also reveals:
- girls were 4 times as likely to be victims
- there were more than 8,000 offences committed against 14-year-olds, making it the most common age group to report offences
- there were 12,374 sex crimes recorded against children under 10
- 449 offences were recorded against babies yet to reach their first birthday.
It’s Not OK.
Although there is more and more awareness on Child Sexual Abuse there is still a lot of work to do. Most victims don’t ever disclose what they are going through as some are too young to even understand what is happening. They are very often groomed and threatened by the perpetrators (see The Grooming Process in Child Sexual Abuse) The very few children who disclose are not believed and more abuse often follows – from the abuser and from professionals. The non-abusive parent or carer of the victims are also very often treated as criminals and liars. They are going through hell with the various organisations claiming the protect their family. They are failed time and time again and further re-traumatised.
It's not ok.
- If you are a parent or a carer and your child disclosed sexual abuse, please contact Mosac. This great organisation offers various services, such as: a National Helpline (0800 980 1958), an advocacy service, free resources and Play therapy.
- For adults survivors,
One In Four has a telephone support line:
Freephone
0800 121 7114
Opening Hours 10am-12pm, 2pm-4pm & 6pm-8.30pm Available from November 2020 until March 2021
- Male survivors can find support from Survivors UK. The organisation has a helpline, counselling and group therapy and more.
- For children under 18 years Old, the NSPCC also has a free telephone helpline: 0800 1111
It isn't ok to let children, victims and survivors suffer in silence. It isn't ok that those who fights on their behalf are also being silenced.
Please take good care of yourselves through this difficult time.
Sylvie
For more resources go on the website's
Resources page.
What is it Life Coaching? What isn't Life Coaching?
It is a
partnership between a Life Coach and a client.
The coach facilitates a safe space and creates a positive rapport in order for the client to identify the inner blocks to their goals, hindering their happiness. Life Coaching helps the client to identify their own goals, to find their own solutions and achieve personal growth and transformation.
Life Coaching isn’t therapy. Although we acknowledge most inner blocks have their roots in the client’s past, we don’t dwell deep on it (this is best done in a therapeutic setting), but, with the client’s permission, we can explore how the "Then and There" affects the "Here and Now", and how the client can move forward, with Self-Compassion.
If I feel a client could benefit from ongoing therapy, I will advise they do so.
My approach is trauma informed. What is trauma? What does "Trauma Informed" means and how does it fit in with Life Coaching?
Trauma is the impact any significant event that has a lasting adverse effect on an individual’s happiness and well-being. The earlier and the longer lasting the stressful event in an individual’s life, the deeper the debilitating effect on a person’s happiness and well-being are.
“Trauma-informed coaching happens when the coach understands what trauma is, how it presents in the coaching room and how to respond. All this, within established coaching boundaries and contracts.”
Julia Vaughan Smith –
Coaching and Trauma
I have personal and professional experience of trauma and have a real understanding of its impact on mind, body and spirit.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is extending compassion to oneself in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
Dr Kristin Neff,
PhD, has pioneered and defines self-compassion as being composed of three main components –
mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.
Self-compassion is facing our deepest fears, outdated self-beliefs and our perceived inadequacies with loving kindness towards oneself, by learning to take the time to acknowledge when we are hurting (Mindfulness) , by reminding ourselves how suffering is part of the our human experience and we all experience it (to some degree), we aren’t as alone as we think we are (common Humanity ) and, finally, by taking time to sooth and to love ourselves though our pain as we would with a dear friend of ours (Self-Kindness).
New Paragraph
How does Self-Compassion and Trauma Informed Coaching work?
Oftentimes, our deepest fears, outdated self-beliefs and perceived inadequacies, are the very things blocking us from creating a happy, fulfilled life, and building happy relationships, tailored to our needs and aspirations.
These blocks have roots in our past, whether we are aware of this or not, and will impact our thoughts, feeling and our behaviour as well as on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. The more severe a past trauma, such as Child Sexual Abuse, the stronger the blocks, which are survival/ defence mechanisms created in childhood in order to survive extreme violence and neglect.
They are also natural responses to abuse and neglect,
when the child really has no one to turn to.
In Coaching, there is an opportunity for the client to explore how the past has an impact on the present and focus on what the client can achieve NOW by becoming their own best friend through anything life throws at them and by having compassion for what they have been through. I will provide the space, the support and some tools (such as reading materials, meditations practice etc...), when necessary, to support clients on their journey.
The coaching process will be led by the client. It will be tailored to the client’s needs, with the client’s approval.
The coaching will be most effective if the client is willing and ready to commit
100% to their journey of self-discovery and healing. During Trauma Informed and Self- Compassion based Life Coaching sessions, the client will learn to approach their biggest blocks and find their inner resources of loving kindness and compassion towards themselves.
Contact Me
Notice Board
Zoom or Teams
For those who would prefer to have their Life Coaching sessions, remotely, I use Zoom and Microsoft Team.
Venues for face-to-face sessions
TBC
Life Coaching sessions available from January 2023
My Fees
- 30 Minutes Skype/ Zoom or phone
assessment:
FREE
-
Full price
-
£80. (8 to 10 sessions
in total.)
-Concession prices: £60 (8 to 10 sessions in total.)
If you are experiencing financial hardship, such as unemployment or long-term disability, I offer limited places on concession fees. Please, contact me to discuss.
All payments via bank transfer.
