Contact Me
Winter Turns into Spring - The Blog
We need more than #Hashtags for Change.
February was a busy month, filled with hashtags: #TimeToTalk; #ItsOkNotToBeOK; #childrenmentalhealthweek and #ItsNotOk, for the Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness Week. These are all important topics to learn about and to discuss. They are definitely great 1st steps but, they aren't enough.
#ItsTimeToTalk
Unfortunately, talking isn't enough. Very often, when someone opens up about their difficulties with Depression, or Anxiety ... They are advised to speak to their GP. At this time, in the UK, it is near impossible to get an appointment with a Doctor. In A&E, patients are waiting for up to 24 hours, if not more, to be seen. The children and adults' mental health services have years long waiting lists. To make matters worse, in January 2023, the a 10-year cross-Government plan for mental health and wellbeing has been scrapped and replaced with a decision to combine the mental health plan with plans for chronic health conditions.
24 January 2023, Mark Winstanley, Chief Executive of Rethink Mental Illness, responded: "Rethink Mental Illness 'deeply disappointed' at shelving of 10-year-plan for Mental Health and Wellbeing." which you can read in full on the Rethink Mental Illness' website.
It is nearly impossible to get access to therapy on the NHS. They mainly offer 8 weeks of CBT, sometimes online. The lack of funding, for the last 10 years, results in poor care and unending waiting lists. Private counselling/ therapy are a luxury for those who need support the most. This will only get worse with the "Cost of Living" crisis.
#ItsOkNotToBeOk
The other problem, for those who speak up, is the response they get by therapists, and those closest to them:
"Leave the past in the past."
"You are overreacting."
"You don't really want to get better, do you?"
" Think positive."
All these remarks are denying or minimising the painful experiences individuals go through. More often than not, it feels like it isn't ok to be ok. The way individuals are encouraged and supported are outdated. "Trauma Informed" is all the rage right now. But, what does "Trauma Informed" really means?
NAPAC explains it well: Trauma-informed practice page.
"In other words, a trauma-informed organisation pursues an approach in all areas of its operations to prevent the replication of traumatic experiences or dynamics among clients and staff and avoids adding to the chronic stress people carry.
A programme, organisation or system that is trauma-informed, as defined by the US Government,
- realises the widespread impact of trauma and understands potential paths for recovery
- recognises the signs and symptoms of trauma in clients, family, staff and others involved in the system
- responds by fully integrating knowledge about trauma into policies, procedures and practices
- seeks to actively resist re-traumatisation."
An authentic Trauma Informed Practice focuses on the individual's experiences of trauma and on its impact, not just on the "disordered" symptoms resulting from adverse experiences. It is a person centred approach when the patient is involved in their care and supported through difficult times.
#ChildrenMentalHealthWeek. Young Mind published the following statistics:
- Just over one in three children and young people with a diagnosable mental health condition get access to NHS care and treatment.
- In a YoungMinds survey, three-quarters (76%) of parents said that their child's mental health had deteriorated while waiting for support from Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) (x).
- In a YoungMinds commissioned survey by Censuswide, two-thirds (67%) of young people said they would prefer to be able to access mental health support without going to see their GP but half (53%) said they didn't know how else to access this help
- One in six children aged five to 16 were identified as having a probable mental health problem in July 2021, a huge increase from one in nine in 2017. That’s five children in every classroom.
What makes things even more difficult for children is the lack of mental health awareness in schools. The focus is solely on getting top marks and top attendance. If a child keep missing classes because of, for instance, anxiety, both parents and children are being threatened with fines and sanctions. If a chid isn't well s/he/they will not be able to focus on their education, this mounting pressure is counter-productive. The child is being punished for being unwell, adding to their distress.
More funding is needed towards the Mental Health National budget. We need more person - centred therapeutic approaches and more compassionate, trauma-informed practices; not just therapies to change "problematic" behaviours. The connection of mind and body need to be fully accepted and taken into serious consideration in care plans. There is a need of a shift from: "What is wrong with you? Let's see how we can fix you." To "What happened to you? Let me know what you need."
The biggest stigma of all is the perceptions that people suffering with mental illnesses are mad. lazy, difficult or childish. They need to be corrected, when , in fact, most of the time, what these individuals really need are a safe place, a safe person they can just pour their heart out to, without fear of being told how they really feel, what they should do and having this huge pressure to better themselves, (quickly please!), and to perform in ways that are more "acceptable."
We all need love and acceptance, during our most difficult times.
Sylvie
You can also read:
Teenagers' Mental Health and Happiness Matter
Child Sexual Abuse: we aren't "losing it", we are suffering.
What is it Life Coaching? What isn't Life Coaching?
It is a
partnership between a Life Coach and a client.
The coach facilitates a safe space and creates a positive rapport in order for the client to identify the inner blocks to their goals, hindering their happiness. Life Coaching helps the client to identify their own goals, to find their own solutions and achieve personal growth and transformation.
Life Coaching isn’t therapy. Although we acknowledge most inner blocks have their roots in the client’s past, we don’t dwell deep on it (this is best done in a therapeutic setting), but, with the client’s permission, we can explore how the "Then and There" affects the "Here and Now", and how the client can move forward, with Self-Compassion.
If I feel a client could benefit from ongoing therapy, I will advise they do so.
My approach is trauma informed. What is trauma? What does "Trauma Informed" means and how does it fit in with Life Coaching?
Trauma is the impact any significant event that has a lasting adverse effect on an individual’s happiness and well-being. The earlier and the longer lasting the stressful event in an individual’s life, the deeper the debilitating effect on a person’s happiness and well-being are.
“Trauma-informed coaching happens when the coach understands what trauma is, how it presents in the coaching room and how to respond. All this, within established coaching boundaries and contracts.”
Julia Vaughan Smith –
Coaching and Trauma
I have personal and professional experience of trauma and have a real understanding of its impact on mind, body and spirit.
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion is extending compassion to oneself in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering.
Dr Kristin Neff,
PhD, has pioneered and defines self-compassion as being composed of three main components –
mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.
Self-compassion is facing our deepest fears, outdated self-beliefs and our perceived inadequacies with loving kindness towards oneself, by learning to take the time to acknowledge when we are hurting (Mindfulness) , by reminding ourselves how suffering is part of the our human experience and we all experience it (to some degree), we aren’t as alone as we think we are (common Humanity ) and, finally, by taking time to sooth and to love ourselves though our pain as we would with a dear friend of ours (Self-Kindness).
New Paragraph
How does Self-Compassion and Trauma Informed Coaching work?
Oftentimes, our deepest fears, outdated self-beliefs and perceived inadequacies, are the very things blocking us from creating a happy, fulfilled life, and building happy relationships, tailored to our needs and aspirations.
These blocks have roots in our past, whether we are aware of this or not, and will impact our thoughts, feeling and our behaviour as well as on how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. The more severe a past trauma, such as Child Sexual Abuse, the stronger the blocks, which are survival/ defence mechanisms created in childhood in order to survive extreme violence and neglect.
They are also natural responses to abuse and neglect,
when the child really has no one to turn to.
In Coaching, there is an opportunity for the client to explore how the past has an impact on the present and focus on what the client can achieve NOW by becoming their own best friend through anything life throws at them and by having compassion for what they have been through. I will provide the space, the support and some tools (such as reading materials, meditations practice etc...), when necessary, to support clients on their journey.
The coaching process will be led by the client. It will be tailored to the client’s needs, with the client’s approval.
The coaching will be most effective if the client is willing and ready to commit
100% to their journey of self-discovery and healing. During Trauma Informed and Self- Compassion based Life Coaching sessions, the client will learn to approach their biggest blocks and find their inner resources of loving kindness and compassion towards themselves.
Contact Me
Notice Board
Zoom or Teams
For those who would prefer to have their Life Coaching sessions, remotely, I use Zoom and Microsoft Team.
Venues for face-to-face sessions
TBC
Life Coaching sessions available from January 2023
My Fees
- 30 Minutes Skype/ Zoom or phone
assessment:
FREE
-
Full price
-
£80. (8 to 10 sessions
in total.)
-Concession prices: £60 (8 to 10 sessions in total.)
If you are experiencing financial hardship, such as unemployment or long-term disability, I offer limited places on concession fees. Please, contact me to discuss.
All payments via bank transfer.
